Each Anniversary is Another Milestone!

Yesterday, August 19th, my husband and I celebrated our 38th anniversary. We were both very young when we were married, I was only 17 and my husband was 18. The best advice given to me was from my soon to be mother-in-law. I’ll never forget her words…she said, “if you’re getting married with a back door policy then you have no business getting married.” Through all the ups and downs we’ve shared ~ having a back door policy was never an option. I’m so proud of the man I married. He has given me a love that I cherish everyday and I know without a shadow of doubt just how lucky I am. I just can’t help lovin that man of mine!!!
Most Hollywood couples don’t make it but somehow Paul Newman and Joanne Woodward managed to stay together. I don’t know whether or not it's really true that he wrote the following letter to his wife on their wedding day…but does it really matter? It’s still a beautiful and profound message just the same. 
Paul Newman's letter to his wife on their wedding day
“Happiness in marriage is not something that just happens. A good marriage must be created. In the Art of Marriage, the little things are the big things. It is never being too old to hold hands. It is remembering to say ‘I love you’ at least once a day. It is never going to sleep angry. It is at no time taking the other for granted; the courtship should not end with the honeymoon; it should continue through all the years. It is having a mutual sense of values and common objectives. It is standing together facing the world. It is forming a circle of love that gathers in the whole family. It is doing things for each other, not in the attitude of duty or sacrifice, but in the spirit of joy. It is speaking words of appreciation and demonstrating gratitude in thoughtful ways. It is not expecting the husband to wear a halo or the wife to have the wings of an angel. It is not looking for perfection in each other. It is cultivating flexibility, patience, understanding and a sense of humor. It is having the capacity to forgive and forget. It is giving each other an atmosphere in which each can grow. It is finding rooms for things of the spirit. It is a common search for the good and the beautiful. It is establishing a relationship in which the independence is equal, dependence is mutual and obligation is reciprocal. It is not only marrying the right partner, it is being the right partner."

My Holiday Gift To You… For Real

By Roy H. Williams

Tom Hennen has a line in his poem, The Life of a Day, that says,

“We examine each day before us with barely a glance and say, ‘no, this isn’t one I’ve been looking for,’ and wait in a bored sort of way for the next, when we are convinced, our lives will start for real.”

That line is a little bit frightening because you read it and realize you’re guilty. You’ve been waiting for that day when your life will start “for real.”

The trouble with life is that it’s just so daily.

I share this with you because I’ve been thinking about my two grandfathers who are dead and my father who is likewise and I’ve come to the obvious conclusion:

Live while you have the chance.

“Papa was a rolling stone. Wherever he laid his hat was his home…”
- The Temptations, 1971

In the final moments of his life, my father scribbled a note for me to find. In barely legible pencil he scrawled, “All the little things in life add up to your life. If you don't get it right then nothing else matters. It gets lonely in the promised land by yourself.”

My Dad died lonely, I think, because he never made deep commitments. My father’s confession of his loneliness makes me sad, but his scribbled note tells me he wanted me to learn from his mistake.

I meet a lot of people who sigh deeply and say they’re looking for their passion, something to set their souls on fire and send beams of light shining out through their eyes.

But the people with light shining from their eyes know this:

Passion does not produce commitment.
Commitment produces passion.

Solomon, that wise king, spent years of his life searching for passion. In chapter 9 of the chronicle of that search, the book of Ecclesiastes, Solomon writes, “Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might, for in the grave, where you are going, there is neither working nor planning nor knowledge nor wisdom.”

People read that and think Solomon is saying, "Eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow you may die," but that's not it at all. He's saying, "Throw your whole heart into whatever you do. Live while you have the chance."

This is my Holiday gift to you,
I hope you will receive it:

Find something that needs to be done
and throw yourself headlong into it.

Let today
be the day
your life begins
for real.

Roy H. Williams

"May you live all the days of your life."
- Jonathan Swift, author of Gulliver's Travels