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Showing posts with label comedy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label comedy. Show all posts

Friday, February 25, 2011

Awesome Fairy Tale Ending!

Once upon a time there was one very smart little girl who wasn't about to buy into a big fat lie!!!

Pause the playlist so you can listen to the video. :)

 


Saturday, May 29, 2010

A Chocolate Bar Story

On image1, image2wanted  to image3.

So he took Missimage4 to a  image5and then to theimage6 Motel on image7  to show her some  image8.

He began to feel her  image9, which was pure image10.

It made her image11, and made him want to  image12.

He thought "This is

 image13!"

He let out a  image14as his image15went up her image16and caused a  image17.

She screamed  'image18', as she grabbed his  image19and squeezed his  image20.

Miss image21said; 'You are even better than the image22'.

To which image23replied; 'When you're this size they call you image24.

Now  image25and we'll have some  image26again'.

Soon she was a bit  image27and nine months later she had a image28.

Saturday, March 14, 2009

Views on Aging (Dymystifying email Myth)


Larry Miller NOT George Carlin's Views on Aging
Verified by snopes.com

Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we're kids? If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excited about aging that you think in fractions.

'How old are you?' 'I'm four and a half!' You're never thirty-six and a half. You're four and a half, going on five! That's the key.

You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back. You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead.

'How old are you?' 'I'm gonna be 16!' You could be 13, but hey, you're gonna be 16! And then the greatest day of your life
! You become 21. Even the words sound like a ceremony.. YOU BECOME 21. YESSSS!!!

But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk! He TURNED; we had to throw him out. There's no fun now, you're Just a sour-dumpling. What's wrong? What's changed?

You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you're PUSHING 40. Whoa! Put on the brakes, it's all slipping away. Before you know it, you REACH 50 and your dreams are gone.

But! wait!! ! You MAKE it to 60. You didn't think you would!

So you BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40, REACH 50 and make it to 60.

You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it's a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday!

You get into! your 80's and every day is a complete cycle; you HIT lunch; you TURN 4:30; you REACH bedtime. And it doesn't end there. Into the 90s, you start going backwards; 'I Was JUST 92.'

Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you become a little kid again. 'I'm 100 and a half!'
May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half!!

HOW TO STAY YOUNG

1.
Throw out nonessential numbers.
This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctors worry about them. That is why you pay 'them.'

2.
Keep only cheerful friends.
The grouches pull you down.

3.
Keep learning.
Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever, even ham radio. Never let the brain idle. 'An idle mind is the devil's workshop.'
And the devil's family name is Alzheimer's.

4.
Enjoy the simple things.

5.
Laugh often, long and loud.
Laugh until you gasp for breath.

6.
The tears happen.
Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person, who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive.

7.
Surround yourself with what you love.
Whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever.Your home is your refuge.

8.
Cherish your health:
If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.

9.
Don't take guilt trips.
Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county; to a foreign country but NOT to where the guilt is.

10.
Tell the people you love that you love them!
At every opportunity.

AND ALWAYS REMEMBER :
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting '...holy sh*t ....what a ride!'

Sending Real Cards...made ez!!!