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Tuesday, May 11, 2010

A Balancing Act

There were three boys about the age of 16 in the park last week stretching a cord between two large trees. Watching them it dawned on me that they were trying to learn to walk a tightrope. Future Cirque Du Soleil performers I mused. I wondered if their moms knew what they were up to and if they would approve of such folly. Moms are familiar with doing balancing acts everyday anyway. That is the key I believe... learning to balance... and most of us really don't master it till the kids go away to college, then it starts all over again as a grandparent but it seems to all fall in place by then...the balancing.

Sunday we celebrated all the mothers who should have worked for Cirque Du Soleil, juggling time and money, swinging from one activity to the next better than any trapeze artist, being as fun as the cirque clowns and as organized as the ringmaster...all while creating their children's life story to a happily-ever-after ending.

It is difficult finding balance. If we discipline too harshly our children become resentful, little discipline makes children feel insecure and rambunctious. If we protect too much we find that our children are reticent about life and not resilient. Mothers need to push and pull, protect and prod, give reality checks while not raining on their child's parade. Often the most difficult task for us as mothers is to stand back and let our children make mistakes then to step in at the opportune time to provide the learning. Even our shoulders need to find balance; mom shoulders are both to cry on and to lean on all while being strong.

Sometimes Moms find it hard to be strong. We may have children with disabilities or illnesses that sometime seem to be unfair then we turn around and see the miracle in the strength we have developed meeting one of life's biggest challenges; often we learn about strength from the children we nurture. 

Some moms go it alone, working and caretaking; now that is the ultimate balancing act. I had the luxury of staying at home and being mommy full time, thanks to my husband's diligence. I can't imagine how challenging it must be to be a single mom and sole supporter. If you are a single mother, I hope your Mother's Day is a spa day but I doubt many moms in that situation get that as their present. That is not the ultimate Mother's Day gift though, the best is a homemade card, a crafted gift made by little hands, and a thank you. That seems to bring everything back into balance.

The hardest and most forgotten balancing act is the one all mothers put off till last...the balance between taking care of others and taking care of herself. I am sure most mothers have had a time when they were on their last bit of energy when they felt like running away and forgetting about...matching the socks, making the lunches, driving the kids to school and breaking up sibling disagreements. They fantasize about foot massages, warm baths, and a romantic candlelight dinner with that special someone. Balance works and if you give yourself these personal time outs you'll be rejuvenated and the cirque can go on.

Wishing you a wonderful Mother's Day today and balance the rest of the year....

P.S. The good news is that It all pays off when you become a grandparent...the best of all worlds.

Linda Strasburg

Copyright © Linda Strasburg2010

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