WHY GOD MADE MOMS

Answers given by 2nd grade school children to the following questions:

Why did God make mothers?

• She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
• Mostly to clean the house.
• To help us out of there when we were getting born.

How did God make mothers?

• He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
• Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
• God made my mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.

What ingredients are mothers made of?

• God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.
• They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think.

Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom?

• We're related.
• God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's mom like me.

What kind of a little girl was your mom?

• My mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.
• I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
• They say she used to be nice.

What did mom need to know about dad before she married him?

• His last name.
• She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?
• Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?

Why did your mom marry your dad?

• My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my mom eats a lot
• She got too old to do anything else with him.
• My grandma says that mom didn't have her thinking cap on.

Who's the boss at your house?

• Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof ball.
• Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.
• I guess mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.

What's the difference between moms and dads?

• Moms work at work and work at home and dads just go to work at work.
• Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
• Dads are taller and stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friends.
• Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.

What does your mom do in her spare time?

• Mothers don't do spare time.
• To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.

What would it take to make your mom perfect?

• On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.
• Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue.

If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be?

• She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that.
• I'd make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it not me.
• I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.